Connection through relationship feeds me. I’m seeing more and more how this activity is oxygen for me. And I’m learning, sometimes the hard way, that not everybody wants this kind of love.
I feel very fortunate that my family is willing to meet me this way. I’ve started a little practice with my wife, two children and my son’s fiancé, of checking in with each other when we are together.
We’ve really just done this a couple of times together lately. We sit in our living room, and then go around, one by one, and speak what is true for us, how we feel about our lives, and what is important. No crosstalk. Just as much presence as we can muster.
The last time we did this, each one of us had tears in our eyes when we were speaking. Different kinds of tears for each of us. Different ways of expressing some deep grief inside us.
I think maybe at the root is a kind of deep sadness in each of us at being in this human life of forgetting who we were, and why we are here, and wanting to remember our essential connection. I’m not sure and I’m not really trying to figure it out.
I can’t really know what this is like, or what is happening inside them, but I do know there is a very alive, resonant feeling in the room. Like something very real and very precious is happening. It feels sacred.
I sit in plenty of circles where people are together ostensibly sharing their truths, but its difficult often, and people don’t always feel safe enough to reveal the deeper layers, or just aren’t skilled enough to access them
I’ve related this family practice to a few people lately and I’ve been met with reactions of surprise and, I guess, wonder, that we have it together to do this. Like, “wow, I wish we could do that.” I don’t know and I’m not offering any advice, although it may sound like I am.
I don’t know how it has come to be that we are practicing this now, but I do know that I’m grateful for it. Much much gratitude.